A Boy and his Author: Part I
by Brenda.G.Potash
Summary: A One-Shot humor Fic about harry and a Fan Fiction author; who try to work together without getting on each others nerves.


**A/N:** I really like humor fics, but I can't seem to write them... so I went for a one-shot. The whole thing is meant to be a joke, but I still think its funny... Tell me what you think, maybe I'll get the confidence to write a whole length one that's actually in context... Thank you for reading and thank you to J.K.R. for the creation of Harry Potter and the world he lives in...

This one-shot has been revised, is there's any spelling errors, please let me know, I am so not good at punctuation and spelling...

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**A BOY AND HIS AUTHOR**

By Snoopygonewilder

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"Welcome, welcome, to a world of wonder, were brooms fly, and so do….uhm….oh… hum, what..." The Author sits down and scratches her head. She looks at her computer screen and thinks for a minute, muttering to herself "what rhymes with wonder? Slander? No…Rounder? Stupid….hum…flou-aund-der. Flounder?"

"What are you doing?" Harry entered the room chewing on a liquorish wand.

"Hey, how did-? Never mind what I'm doing, none of your business."

"Ha" he said sitting on the chair next to the Author. "Writing one of those stupid fan fictions about me again"

"No" The Author covered the computer screen with her hand, and turned on her chair to block Harry's view.

"Yes you are, let me see" he said, trying to push the Author out of the way "come on, what is it about?"

"Nothing if you don't let me get on with it." She said pushing Harry back away from the screen.

"Fine have it your way, but I won't cooperate, see how it goes with an unruly character running a muck." Harry stood up offended, and stomped out of the room, leaving the Author bewildered.

After a couple of minutes, she dropped her face on her hands hard "crap…that teaches me to mess with the characters."

"You really shouldn't have pushed him…he's the chosen-one, you know?"

"I know, I've read all seven books." She said turning to look at Ginny sitting on a black couch against the other side of the wall. "He didn't see you…?"

"Nope, you hadn't written me in when he was in the room."

"I had… he never pays attention." The Author turned back to her computer screen, and put her hand to her chin, forming her face to a much thoughtful expression.

"…_much thoughtful expression_? What are you writing?"

"Stop that" The Author spinned her chair around to look at Ginny who was laughing.

"Stop what?"

"You're reading my words."

"What ever. I'm going down to the kitchen, want anything?" Ginny asked standing up walking towards the door Harry had just walked out of. The Author had spun back to look at her computer screen, and was again deep in concentration.

"Cherry Coke" She said not paying much attention.

"Okay." Ginny walked up to the door, and was aboyt to walk through the threshold, when the Author continued to speak.

"Oh, and combos…" Ginny stoped and looked back with an arched eyebrow "no, no, no, not combos…can I have some of those fruit gummies with the happy face on the box. But the ones in the purple box, not the red ones…I don't like those, they taste kinda weird, and their not gummy enough"

"Oh, one of those…sure, I'll go right to the shop and get you the gummies with the happy face on the box, but not the red one's, I'll make sure I go get the purple ones" she said mickingly mimicking walking to the shop.

"Thanks" The Author said not noticing.

Ginny rolled her eyes and walked out of the room, leaving the Author to scratch her chin in concentration. What could she write about; she had gotten Harry angry at her…

"More than angry!!" Harry called from somewhere in the house. "Stop using my name to develop plot!!"

What a dick.

"Am not!!"

Damn, he can hear my narration?

"Yes I can…so stop it, it's hard to snogg while someone is narrating out loud!!"

snogg??

"Not snogg" called Ginny now from the same area in which Harry's voice seemed to be coming from. "Snack, it's hard to snack"

A couple of minutes later Ginny rushed into the room holding half a can of cherry coke and a package of what seemed like stale Doritos. "They're not stale, beside, I couldn't find the gummies you wanted…so I got these" she said motioning the Doritos in her hand, a smile in her face. The Author noticed Ginny's hair was messed, and her lips were a little red, probably from snogging Harry.

But now that she saw Ginny fixing her hair, an embarrassed blush on her face, she had decided to write in that the characters could not hear her narrating, just for the sake of her insanity.

"Thank God, finally!!" Harry yelled still from the other room. "Ginny…can you…uhm…help with these….shoooo….es, yeah, these shoes, their so hard….to tie." Ginny held in a giggle, threw the Author the bag of stale Doritos, unceremoniously handed her the half can of cherry coke, and rushed out of the room to help Harry with his _clears throat_ "shoes"

"I don't even know why I keep characters around, they do what they want." The Author sighed.

"Or maybe" she said with a light bulb going off. "Damn, I hate it when light bulbs go of near my head" she said tossing the light bulb on the trashcan near the desk which already held a few light bulbs from the last couple of days.

"Okay once again…. Or maybe, yes that's a plan"

The Author started to vigorously type away on her computer, an evil grin on her face. She stops, thinks, and then gets on with it. She finishes, and looking around mischievously she stomps her finger on the period key finishing her sentence. In the distance a shriek, a thump and scream is heard, the Author starts to laugh. Heavy footsteps walk towards the door, seconds later the door flies open.

"What was that about? That was you, right? How else would a hippogriff appear in the middle of the living room" Harry screamed.

"I dunno" The Author answered innocently

"You mean to tell me that at your house, magical creature appear randomly."

"Sometimes, sometimes magical beings" The Author giggled.

"That's it, I'm leaving….GINNY LETS GO" Harry said stomping out of the room, leaving the Author in giggles.

After laughing it off, the Author decided it wasn't good for business to have the only two characters so far leave, so she decided to type that Harry would somehow find it in his heart to forgive her, and also bring her some _M&M's_ from the jar in the living room.

The Author waited patiently minute after minute, all of the sudden a knock was heard at the door.

"Come in" the Author called with a knowing smile. The door creaked open and in walked Harry, a sheepish look in his face.

"I've decided to forgive you out of the kindness of my heart; also, here are some _M&Ms_ from the jar in the living room." Harry said passing the Author a handful of the sweet candy covered chocolate sweets.

"Thank you Harry, I do appreciate it. Now, shoo" The Author said waving her hand about, ushering Harry out of the Author's bedroom.

Now back to her story, the Author took a green _M&M_, enjoyed the chocolaty sweetness in her mouth, she frowned in concentration, LIGHT BULB –_again with the light bulbs_- she tossed the light bulb in the trash and started to type.

It was a dreadful morning, nay, an overwhelmingly uncomfortable morning; one of those in which the sky can't seem to decide between a good day and a bad day. On this; maybe good maybe bad morning; Harry and Ginny sat in the living room talking about what things would be like if Voldemort had gone after someone else instead of Harry. Would this someone else have survived as well? Would this person be like Harry, and would Harry be any different? Would Harry still have met Ginny, the love of his life? Or would this someone else have taken his place?

Ginny had answered what she loved about him was not the fact that he was the Boy-Who-Lived, it was simply the fact that he was Harry, and even if Harry Potter not been a famous name, she still would have loved him. Because to her it wasn't the fact that he had lived, but how he had decided to live that filled her heart with warm love.

"That shit's corny. I totally like his stardom and the dreamy green eyes" Ginny screamed from the living room.

"I agree. I don't mind, I like being famous" Harry screamed.

"What? Wou hate being famous" The Author called from the room as she ran out the door, into the room were Harry and Ginny sat.

"No I don't, I hate being chased by a serial maniacal killer, but the fame's awesome." Harry smiled.

The Author didn't get it; firstly, she thought the characters couldn't hear her story anymore.

"We're magical, we can do things." Ginny rolled her eyes.

That was true, but then. What about that whole thing about Harry liking the spotlight.

"What's so hard to understand, I'm rich, got a hot girlfriend, people admire me, I have great friends, get to battle evil wizards and to add on to it, I always _somehow_ WIN… what's wrong about that? I mean yeah the whole orphan thing is shit, but Mrs. Weasley cooks and does my wash. So what's the big deal?"

"What? So you don't care? Why would anyone want to read about you?" The Author said angrily.

"Duh… because I'm Harry freakin' Potter. Besides I care, I have a heart" Harry said biting his nail.

The Author huffed and turned around walking back to her room.

"Doubt it" she muttered to herself as she went back to her story.

"You doubt it?" Harry -_who was strangely standing in the Author's room now and not in the living room where he had been seconds before-_ said. "I'll prove it" he said turning towards the door "Ginny call Ron and Hermione we're going on an adventure to prove that the greatest power a man has is his heart"

"Okay" Ginny screamed from the other room, as Harry hurried out

"I'll show you" He said stomping out of the room.

The Author smiled knowingly, Harry Potter might be a brat, and he might think the world revolves around him, but he had a heart.

"You bet I do!!" Harry screamed from somewhere in the house.

The end…

The door opens and Ginny sticks her head in "Harry said we'll probably be back for a sequel"

THE END!!

"Not quite!!"

Harry and Ginny leave, no one else is in the house with the Author. And the Author types T.H.E.E.N.D. eats another M&M, and puts her finger to the period key.

**_THE END._**


End file.
